


Background Check

by ChristineBH



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Female Pronouns for Pidge | Katie Holt, Few swearwords, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Keith (Voltron) is Bad at Feelings, Keith has a tragic past, Keith is done with everyone, Klance if you squint, One Shot, Orphan Keith (Voltron), Savage Pidge, i guess
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-17
Updated: 2017-02-17
Packaged: 2018-09-24 22:40:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,824
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9790319
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ChristineBH/pseuds/ChristineBH
Summary: Everyone has some things they keep to themselves whether it being deliberate or not, but surely the Paladins have nothing to hide from each other?Or the story where Pidge pries, Shiro share about Keith to too many people for Keith's liking, and Keith is done with everyone's shit.





	

There were secrets among the Paladins. Some actively kept that way, like Pidge keeping the others in the dark about being a girl for the first while in the castle, others were more lighthearted, such as Hunk knowing but never telling the others that Lance slept with a stuffed animal before his first day in the fighter pilot class, and others were such secrets no one knew there even was one.

Pidge told the other Paladins in passing that she was 14 a few months into them being defenders of the Universe. Lance and Hunk was both shocked and kept asking her how and why she got into the 17-year-old class. Keith personally had thought she was about 15 so it wasn’t a big surprise for him and he expected such secrets from someone who lied about their sex. Shiro was actually the most surprised. Pidge was obviously not the same age as the other Paladins, so he had assumed that Hunk, Lance, and Pidge was only saying they were in the same year to cover some kind of embarrassing first meeting, but it being a big revelation must have meant that she actually was in the same year as the others. Coran and Allura had seen it after they had scanned the Paladins after their first fight and they were only surprised not everyone already knew. 

It was like that with a lot of the paladins's secrets. Some of them knew a secret already and the secret carrier often thought it was everyone that knew, and if there was some mind melding scheduled in the foreseeable future, almost everyone would be relatively willing to spill secrets they knew the others didn’t know.

The many surprises and revelations therefore died out quickly and everyone assumed they knew everything of significance about everyone as time went on. Sure, everyone knew more about some things than others. Lance at times lively told the others about his family and the things they had done with or without him, but at other times would clam up and refuse to say one word about anyone on Earth. Which led to the others’ image of Lance’s family being very jumped and only Hunk, who had actually met some of them, had a coherent picture of most of them. Even Shiro shared a bit, when the others saw his family during one of their few mind melding session and they learned that Shiro had a deceased grandmother he used to be very close to and parents he wasn’t.

The others had noticed that Keith didn’t share much. Hunk assumed it hurt too much for him. Lance assumed he talked to someone else, probably Shiro, about it and thought the others weren’t good enough for him. Pidge knew some details that she had gotten from Matt, who had gotten it from Shiro. Allura was too busy either planning their next mission or mourning her whole planet and father to occupy herself with Keith, and Coran didn’t know enough about Earth relations to really come up with a theory. However, all that was just fleeting thoughts that rarely lingered long enough for anyone to voice them.

♞✩✮♘

The team had rescued a small group of aliens that was on their way to a Galra work camp and the Paladins and lions only received minor injuries, but Pidge was devastated. She wanted to go to the lab and forget about the whole mission instead of listening to Allura praising and correcting everything they had done in the last few hours. Lance gave her a small push to show he was there. It didn’t help but it at least didn’t make her mental state worse.

Pidge didn’t hear much of what Allura was saying, but it hardly mattered. She almost always said something about teamwork and being in sync with each other and the lions and, if a mission went well, that they had come a long way or, if it hasn’t gone well but no one is close to death, that she was very disappointed and have no idea why the lions chose them. Pidge should probably have listened anyway, but she hardly felt any remorse at that moment.

Allura left quickly after her speech to, “make sure the guests are comfortable in their rooms.” Pidge slowly turned around and could finally go to the lab, when a hand fell on her shoulder. She expected it to be Lance, Hunk or maybe even Shiro if he hadn’t already left so he could be diplomatic with the princess, but seeing Keith was a surprise.

They stared at each other for a second before Keith opened his mouth. “You’re not trying to leave again, are you?”

Pidge could see Hunk and Lance stopping in their tracks right in front of door out in the corner of her eye. “No, why would you think that?” she asked with as much patience as she would manage, even if it wasn’t much at that moment.

“You seemed disappointed that your family wasn’t among the prisoners and you seem upset now so I...”

Pidge tried to calm down, she really did, but only accomplished sucking in half a breath before she let the anger out and interrupted Keith. “Of course I am! Even you aren’t that socially inept, Keith!”

It was a low blow. Keith knew he wasn’t normal and that a lot went over his head socially. Even Lance didn’t pick on him for it, so it was saying something that Keith wasn’t hitting her as soon as the words left her mouth. He would have if it had been Lance and maybe even Shiro if such words could even leave that man.

The guilt washed away as soon as it had come when Keith answered her with poison in his voice, “So you aren’t going to be selfish again?”

“That wasn’t being selfish! Everyone understood except you, just because you don’t have anyone doesn’t mean other people don’t!”

Keith took a shaky breath and his voice had lost all its life but none of its poison. “I would rather be alone than as selfish and unlikable as you.”

Pidge lowered her voice too. Maybe in a subconscious knowledge that she didn’t want Lance and Hunk hearing how cruel she could be. “That’s funny coming from someone who has no one who wasn’t forced to be with him.”

Keith looked at her with fury but Pidge could clearly see the devastation it concealed and the glassy look in his eyes that wasn’t entirely from anger. Pidge knew she deserved to be punched and perhaps knowing that was her punishment because she knew that she could kill the guilt if Keith had just punched her. He instead looked at her with a tight jaw and shoulders that fell for a second before they were up to his ears and he turned 180 degrees and left the room. Pidge didn’t know how much Lance and Hunk heard but it must have been more than she liked because they looked frozen and barely moved when Keith pushed them aside so he could storm out of the room.

It was all too much. Keith was mad or sad or something, her father and brother was still gone and maybe not even alive, and Lance and Hunk wouldn’t stop staring.

“What-What was that Pidge?”

“Nothing, Hunk, we were just mad,” Pidge answered as she felt all her fight leave her and the guilt and sorrow started pushing even harder on her.

Lance looked conflicted between being nonchalant and emotional but seemed to decide as he gave Pidge a glare, “Keith’s an idiot but you can’t just talk to him like that.” If Pidge wasn’t so caught up in her own emotions she would have commented how hard it must be to be Lance and seemingly wanting to simultaneously punch and hug Keith constantly.

“I don’t know what you said to him after you said he was the only one who didn’t understand why you wanted to leave to find your family, but he looked really torn up when he left,” Lance told her.

“I think he was crying,” Hunk remarked and Lance raised his eyebrows and the arm closest to Hunk to point out how seriously she should take Hunk’s statement.

 “I know and I-“ _will apologize, will never do it again, am so sorry,_ “-don’t need you two telling me this. Besides he’s-“ _my friend too,_ “a big boy and can take care of himself.” Pidge then left them before she said something else she didn’t mean or worse something she really did mean.

✮♘♞✩

Keith always fought. Fighting could both fire him up and calm him down, it could help him think and it could muddle his thoughts until he couldn’t find any meaning in them. It made him happy and mad but never sad, and Keith needed something that couldn’t do that.

Fighting couldn’t make him sad but it didn’t seem to stop it either and Keith soon had to stop the fighting simulator when his vision became too blurry with tears. Keith wasn’t a fearful person. He didn’t fear living and he feared death even less, but some part of him had feared that the others only cared about him because they had to to form Voltron or simply because there only were seven permanent presents in the castle and anyone was better than isolation. The part of him that had been winning until that day had been saying that thinking like that was stupid, of course, they cared about him by their own free will, but that part had to step down at Pidge’s words. Because if someone else had noticed, it must be true, right? No one had really cared before, so it was naïve to think that would have changed just because they were launched into space.

But Shiro had cared, at least a little bit, Keith tried to tell himself. Shiro had been on Earth when they had met and kept talking to him until his mission to Kerberos, but when Keith thought about it, it perhaps didn’t mean as much to Shiro as it did to Keith. Shiro had been so much more talkable before his mission to Kerberos and had been talking to everyone his own age and several underclassmen when Keith met him for the first time. He couldn’t remember seeing Shiro talking to anyone else so much younger than him but it probably happened as much as Shiro talking to Keith did.

Keith stood up. He needed to get away from the training deck before someone saw him, and just his luck, one of the creatures they had rescued walked by. The creatures were strange looking with their barrel formed bodies with no necks and a black eye over and under each of their two stubby arm. To make matters worse, their lime green skin looked spongy but had somehow felt more like a shell when Keith had helped them escape. Keith was actually surprised everyone escaped because they had all been so slow. Most of them had three, short legs and about a quarter had four and none of them had knees, hence the slow part. Keith didn’t see himself as a shallow person but even he had to admit to himself they really were eyesores. No one could therefore be surprised that he wasn’t in the mood to be seen at with disgust by whatever they were called.

“You’re leaking,” the creature exclaimed. Keith looked down at himself to see if he was bleeding somewhere when he realized the creature meant the few tears Keith had let escape.

“Yes,” Keith answered. Wishing that the creature would realize that they didn’t _have_ to wander around the castle and talk to its residents just because they were allowed to.

“Why?” Keith closed his eyes and reminded himself that he couldn’t stab someone with a sword just because they asked stupid questions.

“It’s a human thing.”

“What’s a human?”

Pidge had called Keith socially inept but his thing was unbelievable. It was rude but the lesser of two evils to leave, so he did and ignored the creature yelling behind him.

Who cares if he’s rude anyway? It’s not like anyone is bothered either way anyway. Maybe Allura but even she wouldn’t be able to complain too much if he did his to safe the universe and didn’t harm anyone.

♘✮✩♞

Getting the former prisoners back to their home planet took far longer than anticipated. The planet was very close to where the Galra ship had been but the name of the planet had changed at least once in the 10 000 years since the Alteans last heard of said planet and the species had evolved so much that neither Coran nor Allura knew what they were before they found the planet. To make matters worse, as a species both a bit behind technology before the Galra Empire started and against travelling outside their atmosphere in the hope of being overlooked, none of the prisoners knew the coordinates of their own planet. It resulted in a guessing game between Allura, Coran, and the old prisoners, but they somehow found the planet anyway.

Keith hadn’t been able to actually cry once he was safe in his room after being found crying by one of the former prisoners, but he still got over the worst sadness and was ready to be perhaps a bit more hostile but still more like himself than he had been since his confrontation with Pidge. Keith would come back stronger before long and wouldn’t let spiteful words from a 14-year-old child hurt him.

“I’m glad all the Sloducs are back on their home planet. I know they don’t seem like the best fighters, but do I really have to remind you all we need all the allies we can get, Paladins? I’m really disappointed in the way they have been treated.”

Everyone looked shocked as Allura glared at each one of them until her eyes fell on Keith who just looked annoyed.

“Why would you even think being rude to any of our guests was a good idea, Keith?”

Wow, Keith thought, she didn’t even take the time to ask if he had even done anything.

“I haven’t done anything to any one of them,” Keith told her monotonously.

“Who was it then?”

Keith lifted his shoulders and hands to show he didn’t know. “Couldn’t you have asked them who was rude to them?”

“They can’t see the difference between us,” Allura said as if Keith should have known it already.

“What?” Lance asked loudly. “They look like -” He closed his mouth tightly and made a sideways nod “- and can’t tell the difference in us? None of us even look alike.”

Keith had probably never agreed with Lance more, and it was even more insulting that a species that Keith wasn’t even sure had more than one sex or wasn’t just the same alien cloned couldn’t tell them apart when they clearly didn’t look anything alike.

“I will not have anyone talk badly about or to our allies, is that understood?” Allura scolded.

Lance nodded. He was clearly intimidated but Keith could hardly blame him too much. Allura was a completely different kind of princess than TV had prepared any of them for back on Earth.

Allura kept her eyes on Lance for a few more ticks before she let her eyes go over each member again. She huffed at the Paladins before leaving them alone.

Keith let her leave the room completely before he walked towards the door too, but was stopped by Pidge.

“I’m really sorry about what I said. You know I didn’t mean any of it.”

Keith turned to look at her and gave her a nod. Not because he agreed with her but instead to indicate that he had heard what she had said.

“Come on, say something. I wasn’t the only one saying things I didn’t really mean,” she said irritated. It was true, he had called her both selfish and unlikable before she gave him the killing blow, but the difference was that she knew she wasn’t selfish or unlikable and Keith knew he was unlikable in a lot of people’s eyes and couldn’t do anything about it. At the Garrison, people had either only seen him from afar or only tolerated him because he was the best pilot in his age group, and his life before that was far, far worse.

“It’s- it’s fine, Pidge,” Keith said and hated himself just a little bit more for not being able to even say such a simple and short sentence without stammering and waiting just a second too long before saying Pidge’s name.

“I really am sorry.”

“You’ve already said that,” Keith said annoyed both that she wouldn’t just leave it alone and that Lance and Hunk didn’t even try to hide that they were listening. They just stood next to Pidge and stared at them.

“But I knew about you already before you left the Garrison.”

That caught Keith’s attention. He was almost completely sure that Pidge hadn’t even been enrolled in the Garrison before he left it.

“I heard from my brother.”

“I knew your brother?” Keith asked but was ignored.

“And Matt heard it from Shiro.”

Keith kept quiet at that. He didn’t know if he should be angry that Shiro apparently talked about Keith’s sad backstory with at least one person, who apparently couldn’t keep his mouth shut, or if he should be flattered that Shiro talked about him at all.

“Don’t be mad at Shiro, he was just concerned about you.”

Why would Shiro be concerned about Keith when they were in the Galaxy Garrison? Keith had been alone for his whole life and had been excelling at the only thing he wanted to do. At that point of time, he had never experienced being so happy and content so he had never felt the need to complain even if he had been lonely at times.

Pidge took a hold of Keith’s arm and looked up at him. Keith already wasn’t mad anymore but that look would have taken it away if he had been. She simply looked too small and innocent as she look up at him like that. It warmed him to feel like that until he realized it was the same friendly way he had felt about Shiro, and he didn’t need any more of that in his life when he wasn’t sure it was mutual.

“I’m not mad. I’m just confused,” he told her.

Pidge looked like she wanted to say more but kept quiet. Keith wasn’t mad but didn’t have the patience to stand and wait all day so he shook her off his arm and turned to walk away, but was stopped again.

“Keith, my man, buddy, there isn’t something we _should_ be concerned about, right?” Lance looked at him with big, anxious eyes.

“No, nothing.”

“Are you sure? Pidge made it sound pretty serious.”

“It was just me being stupid, Lance,” Pidge tried to defend Keith.

“Well, you can’t not tell us now,” Lance informed Keith.

“It’s not my story to tell and I don’t know much either. I don’t even think Shiro does, but I can tell you what I know if it’s okay with Keith.” She turned her eyes from Lance and looked hopeful up at Keith.

It wasn’t okay, not really, but Keith also wanted to seem completely nonchalant about it and maybe Hunk and Lance wouldn’t nag if they were told the little Pidge knew so he would allow her to share the little she knew.

“Whatever,” he told her and did his best to look bored.

Pidge still didn’t look overly happy about it but turned her gaze to Lance and Hunk.

“Keith grew up in foster care.”

“That’s it?” Lance asked while Hunk sighed with relief.

“There’s nothing shameful about that, Keith, you had us worried it was something horrible there,” Hunk reassured Keith.

“I know. I’m not ashamed of being a foster kid,” he told Hunk truthfully.

Keith debated about the possibility that they would let him leave now. He had already been stopped two times in the span of a few minutes but he also really wanted to leave before someone started to cry or something.

“So, why were you in foster care?” Lance asked as annoyingly ignorant as the Sloduc had been.

“Why do you think?” Keith couldn't stop himself before he was already sending Lance a glare.

“Yeah, you’re right. I shouldn’t have asked.” Keith inwardly agreed with him again, Lance shouldn’t have asked, but at least Keith was able to leave.

✩♞♘✮

Keith walked to the dining room to grab some lunch the next day when he heard quiet talking. Only Shiro and Allura ever talked quietly and very rarely Coran, but he only did so, when Allura was particularly sadden about losing her father or their planet, so hearing more than two lowered voices was concerning.

“But how did he even end up in the system. He have to have a mother and father somewhere. Someone had to make and name him, right?” Lance asked a bit louder than the others’ quiet conversation. Keith instantly knew whom they were talking about and stood right behind the wall next to the open door.

“I don’t know, I think he said he was around one but I’m not sure, but I know he told me he can’t remember not being in it,” Shiro said and forced Keith to reconsider his choice of not being mad at Shiro.

“One!?” a choir of voices exclaimed in a collected but late reaction, and Keith wondered how he hadn’t heard them before now.

“But doesn’t it take like crazy much to get your child removed?” Lance asked scandalized.

Keith finally had enough, walked into the room, and answered Lance’s question, “You don’t have to get your child removed to get rid of it.”

“Keith,” Shiro sighed with a concerned and remorseful look.

“Are there anyone you aren’t telling this? People I don’t know, people I know, heck, you even told someone I would later know. Can’t I tell you anything without you telling someone else?” Keith said and mentally congratulated himself from not shouting.

“You know that’s not why I’m telling them,” Shiro defended himself.

“Do I? Because this is the thing I would least have you walk around telling everyone about and here we are.”

“We’re all friends, Keith. You never tells us anything and we were just concerned,” Hunk said.

“Get used to it, because I won’t be telling anyone anything ever again,” Keith growled. 

The others looked appropriately horrified because while it would just seem dramatic if most people said it, they knew Keith meant it.

“We just want to get to know you,” Allura said with her diplomatic voice but Keith wasn’t fooled by it.

“Yeah, I know, we need to be in sync so we can control the lions, but don’t act like you wouldn’t be just as happy with anyone else.”

“Now, now that’s not true. I can’t imagine the lions choosing any better Paladins.” There was just something about Coran that made it hard to dislike him, but Keith didn’t find it difficult to be annoyed at his words.

Keith should have just let them talk about him because it became harder and harder not being consumed in anger. They kept asking and asking. How did they even have so much to ask, especially since Keith wasn’t answering? He didn’t know what stopped him from just walking away. Maybe it was the knowledge that they could find him anywhere in the castle and startle him when his guard went down, but no matter what it wasn’t enough to stop the questions from aggravating him.

What, what, what, what…

Why, why, why, why…

How, how, how, how…

The questions just kept going until Keith felt like his head would explode.

“Shut up!” He shouted.

“We just want to help you,” Hunk said heartbrokenly. Hearing Hunk like that did touch something in his heart but not enough to hinder his desire to stop the questions permanently. The others looked at him with anguished expressions but Keith wasn’t easily fooled. They weren’t the first ones to ask questions only to satisfy their own curiosity and they wouldn’t be the last if Keith survived the fall of the Galra Empire.

“Just _leave_ _it_!” Keith finally shouted as if he was shouting they should leave _him_ alone. He finally found the strength to leave the room on an empty stomach filled only with a lump of anger and a cold feeling of anxiety from being forced to remember his past.

♞✩✮♘

Hours passed before Keith was sure they wouldn’t track him down to catch him of guard with questions. He wouldn’t even have blamed them if they found him when he went back to training. Maybe a bit, but the training deck was there for all of them even if Keith almost was there more than everyone else put together was. He was therefore not worried when he walked back to his room exhausted and hungry.

He stopped in front of his door. Someone had thought of him even when he wanted to be left alone but it brought a twist in his mouth when he saw the plate of green goo in front of his door. It was not quite a smile, but a less powerful cousin of one, because whoever it had been had not only thought he would be hungry but also respected his privacy and hadn’t hacked into his room by themselves or asked Allura to open the door for them. He didn’t know if he would eat the plate of goo but he didn’t see anything wrong with it sitting inside his room while he took a shower.

The Paladins technically had a bit more clothes than what they wore when they were taken from Earth, but Keith didn’t like wearing most of the Altean clothes that were provided and he had only looked at the red rope from the last Paladin once before hiding it away. Both because ropes weren’t his style and because he couldn’t stop thinking about the last Paladin that wore it. He liked the color red but it sometimes reminded him too much of blood. Keith walked to his bed in only the provided Altean underwear because he may have lived in a shack for a long time and wear the same clothes every day even the times it wasn’t washed and dried overnight, but even he thought it was gross to not change one’s underwear.

Walking into the room and looking at the food goo, he decided that his stomach was still too knotted for any food and he would just have to go to bed hungry. Maybe he would eat the goo in the morning and buy himself a few more hours before he had to risk seeing the others.

He moved the blanket, got ready to lay down on his bed and sleep after a long and emotional day when there was a knock on his door. Great... Maybe it would stop if he just ignored it?

Keith waited and didn’t even dare to let the blanket go but the knocking was going over two minutes later. Keith even counted after a while of knocking. Keith thought it had to be Shiro on the other side of the door because only he could knock on a door for that long and not hurt his knuckles.

Keith sighed deeply. He really didn’t want to see anyone before he had slept and possibly not even after that, but Shiro could probably still be as stubborn as he had been before being kidnapped on Kerberos. Keith took heavy steps towards the door. The knocking kept going strong but Keith wasn’t in a hurry to open the door.

Keith pushed the button and wished opening doors while irritated didn’t have to be so anticlimactic in space. He wasn’t completely emotionless and wanted to at least be able to open or close the door dramatically when the others were being as nosy as they were. Keith’s eyebrows lifted in surprise when he didn’t see Shiro on the other side but they quickly fell again.

“What do you want?”

“Good to see you too, buddy, I feel so welcome” Lance voiced his sarcasm.

“You aren’t. Can I sleep now?”

Lance looked down at Keith’s mostly naked body and Keith tried not to show how embarrassed he became.

“I wanted to talk to you. Can I come in or do you want the whole castle hearing?”

Keith closed his eyes, furrowed eyebrows, and tightened his mouth. He could either see what Lance wanted or close the door and hear knocking on his door until he either went insane or killed Lance. He should have known that persistent knock was Lance. No one was as tireless as Lance.

“Okay, talk,” Keith commanded nonchalantly.

“You sure you want to do it here?” Lance chuckled.

Keith looked down at himself again and could feel a burn in his cheeks. This wasn’t because of what Lance said, he told himself as he walked into his room, he sat down on his bed, and wrapped the blanket around himself. Lance followed and closed the door with a push of the button.

“Good, wouldn’t want you to be cold after all,” he teased as he sat next to Keith.

“We're in now. Talk.

“To be honest I didn’t think I would get this far.”

“Are you serious?” Keith glared.

“Calm down. I’m here because, I know we aren’t close or anything and the others said I should leave you alone but I just wanted to –“ Lance looked down at his hands, “-say that if you ever need someone to talk to, you can talk to me. I won’t tell the others.”

“Thanks you, Lance,” Keith sighed annoyed. This was a waste of his time.

“I mean it; I really won’t tell the others or tease you about it.”

“Thank you,” Keith said more sincerely but still waiting for Lance to leave so he could finally go to sleep.

“I really think you should talk to someone about the sad stuff. Hunk’s very understandable.” Lance was still looking at his hands and sounding like a small kid. 

“Okay.”

Lance looked up with raised eyebrows and wide eyes. “You will talk to him?”

“No.”

Lance deflated before Keith’s eyes.

“It’s not good to keep it all in,” Lance tried to convince Keith.

“There’s nothing to tell. None of that mattered when I was at the Garrison and it matters even less now.”

Lance took a deep breath and looked down at the end of the bed. “Would it help if I told you something that makes me sad?”

“I’m flattered you would but I doubt it would help anything,” Keith said, looking at the back of Lance’s head.

Lance turned his head again and looked like he didn’t want to be there but didn’t make a move to leave. “I’m going to just in case, okay?”

Keith nodded confused why Lance would put himself through something he obviously wasn’t comfortable with.

“My eldest sister is, or was, I don’t even know how long we’ve been here, pregnant when we found Blue, and I just keep thinking how she’s doing and if the baby’s healthy, you know?”

Keith didn’t think he completely knew but nodded anyway.

“It just makes me so sad because I know she must have been sad when I just disappeared. It should be a happy time for her, but now it’s not. Or, I feel so selfish when I think about it, but what if they aren’t sad?”

“You’re afraid they’ve forgotten about you?” Keith asked. He wasn’t sure himself if it was a genuine question or just a statement.

“Yes, does that make me bad?”

“I don’t know,” Keith answered before he had even thought about his answer and only realized how wrong it sounded when Lance’s shoulders fell. “I’m bad at social stuff. You should talk to Hunk since he’s more understandable.”

Lance gave him a sad smile. “He is, but sometimes I think he’s being more nice than sincere.”

“I think Hunk is just naturally nice,” Keith said truthfully.

Lance’s smile was still sad but got a bit of warmth to it. “I think you’re better at understanding us than you get credit for.”

“Thank you,” Keith said monotonously but hoped Lance knew anyway how much that statement meant to him, even if Lance going into his room and sounding so vulnerable was freaking him a little bit out.

There stretched a silence between them that Keith couldn’t decide was awkward or nice when Lance jumped back into their conversation.

“I think she was going to tell our family at Christmas. The whole family was going to be there this year instead of their in-laws. My parents' faces would be epic.”

“How did you know if she hadn’t told the family yet?” Keith asked genuinely interested.

Lance looked up at the roof of the bed and took a couple of deep breaths. Keith realized he maybe wouldn't want to answer if he had been Lance.

“You don’t have to answer if you don’t want to,” Keith reassured and found that he genuinely meant that too. He wanted to know but not enough to make Lance uncomfortable.

“No, it’s okay.” Lance took another breath. “She had found out right before my second eldest sister came to visit her so she told her. My sister, the non-pregnant one, apparently didn’t get the ‘don’t tell’ memo and texted me about what I thought about it a few days later.”

Lance donned an amused and loving smile as he looked up and Keith could see his eyes get a bit glassy. “That idiot. She begged me not to tell and to act surprised when my eldest sister would tell us. She promised me the best Christmas present ever and that she would name her first born after me if I pulled it off. I don’t think she will actually name her kid after me but I had been looking forward to that present.”

“Maybe she still will.”

“You’re cruel, Keith, but yeah, maybe she will now that I’m gone." Lance let himself stay inside his melancholy thoughts. Far away from Keith and the rest of the ship.

Lance shook his head after a few seconds and his eyes lost their glassy look. “You ready to tell me some dirt now?”

No, he wasn’t ready, but Lance had just told him something personal about his family and his fear that he was selfish for not wanting to be forgotten. Maybe making him feel guilty was Lance’s plan all along. If so, then Keith didn’t give him enough credit because that was an evil and genius plan.

“I don’t know what to say.”

“You can start with the basic stuff. Where did you live before going to the Garrison’s?”

Keith kept quiet and looked at him with judging eyes until Lance looked at him too. “You already know that. Foster families," Keith reminded Lance.

Lance sat up straighter. “Wait, as in plural? So you just switched between families all the time?”

“That and group homes, yes.”

“So like an orphanage?”

“It’s not called that anymore but yes like an orphanage.”

“That’s rough, buddy.”

Keith didn’t know if he should agree or not. It was hard but Keith hadn’t known any different.

There was a tense silence before Lance cracked and asked the next question, “So it’s true you were one when you got into the system?”

“My file said so.”

“Your file? No one told you it?”

Keith closed his hands into fists and was both relieved and irritated that he would have to let the blanket around him go if he wanted to hit Lance. “I switched between homes all the time, who would even be able to tell me anything if they wanted to?”

Lance looked at his hands. Keith thought he saw a light blush but he wasn’t sure. “I guess you’re right about that.” Lance looked up at Keith again and sent him a crooked smile. “So you snuck in and looked at your file?”

“Yes,” Keith answered simply. He thought it was obvious that he had done that.

Lance was a bit taken back about how matter-of-factly Keith answered, but recovered quickly. “So did this file say anything else you want to share?”

“No.”

“Come on, I told you my story.” Now Keith knew Lance had definitely told his story to guilt Keith's out of him but, to Keith’s disappointment, it was still working.

Keith sighed. “It had an estimated date of birth.”

“Estimated?” Lance asked, no longer playful. “They just randomly found a one-year-old without any birth certificate or anything?”

Keith didn’t want to answer but there wasn’t many non-violent ways to get away from that question, and he doubted Lance would ever let a question go. He could leave but it was his room and there wasn't anywehere else he wanted to escape to in only underwear and a blanket.

“Yes, in a dumpster.”

Lance looked at him with wide eyes and furrowed eyebrow. “That’s horrible, Keith.”

“It was a long time ago, Lance, I’m over it. I don't even remember it.”

“But…” Lance looked at a loss for words. “At least your parents gave you a name to remember them by.”

Keith was silent.

“Right, Keith?”

Keith was silent before he hesitantly opened his mouth and hoped Lance wouldn’t be more upset on Keith’s behalf. “I about one. I could barely walk much less say my name.”

Lance answered with some kind of high pinched sound. A man shouldn’t be able to sound that high pitched after his voice had broken. The sound eventually died out but Lance looked frozen and didn’t even move when Keith poked him.

“How the hell did you end up with Keith Kogane then? It’s not the most common name.”

“You’re not going to cry if I tell you?” Keith asked unimpressed about Lance’s lacking ability to take any of the information he worked so hard to achieve.

“Of course I’m not going to cry. How much of an idiot are you?” Lance said with almost all his usual confidence.

"Could have fooled me," Keith said under his breath and was rewared with a glare from Lance who pushed him so he would answer the question.

“I think one of the higher ups were named Kogane and they were just racist enough to think that was the best name just because it’s Asian. Even if it’s probably the wrong type of Asian.”

Lance didn’t say anything but just looked at Keith with interested eyes and no glare.

“I remember them calling me ‘Kid’ and I guess they at some point realized no one was looking for me and I needed some kind of name. I guess Keith was close enough to ‘Kid’ for me to react.” Keith’s voice cracked at the end but he pretended nothing had happened and hoped that was enough to stop Lance from noticing.

“Keith…” Lance said breathlessly.

“I don’t want to hear it,” Keith snapped. It wasn’t Lance’s fault that he actually was getting emotional now but he didn’t want to hear any dumb excuses or halfhearted reassurances. He was going to say more but was dumbfounded when Lance launched himself at him and hid his head in Keith’s shoulder.

“Um, Lance?”

Lance shook his head and Keith looked around the room like it held the answers to what he should do.

“Are you – Are you okay… Lance,” Keith tried again.

Lance just tightened his hold on Keith. Keith was starting to feel a different but just as uncomfortable feeling deep in his stomach. He didn’t have the heart to pry Lance off him so he awkwardly patted Lance’s head and hoped that would comfort him.

“You’ll never be alone again, Keith,” Lance said indistinctly around Keith’s shoulder.

Keith stopped patting Lance's head. It took him a moment to separate one word from another and another to understand them.

“Thank you…”

“You’ll always have us and I’m so happy you’re here.” Lance buried nose head uncomfortably into Keith shoulder. ”We would always look for you.”

Keith didn’t know if Lance knew what those words meant to Keith. He logically knew Lance couldn’t know the full extent no matter what but it was still enough to choke him up. There was no one else in the room but he felt exposed now that his feelings was coming to the surface so he hid in the crook of Lance’s neck. Lance just tightened his grip even further. One squish more and Keith would be unable to breath but he found that he didn’t mind it.


End file.
